Upon first learning Astrology years ago, somewhat casually, I noticed that much of the narrative around the 8th and 12th houses was negative—they were dark and scary houses, destinations one mostly wants to rush through or avoid altogether. But my life experiences never seemed to match the depths of despair that these houses purportedly drag you into (at least, not yet). Dear reader, I am not here to subvert the nasties hanging out in these houses. I am not here to convince you that the 8th house can be fun or that the 12th house is a walk in the proverbial park. The 8th forms a square to the fun-loving 5th, and the 12th doesn’t even see it (aversion). As a Capricorn 8th house stellium owner, and a Taurus 12th house Moon dweller, I owe it to you and to myself to be down to Earth or realistic around the energies of these houses. And realistic is a great word—big blogs, accounts and Astrology websites have an incentive to reach the most people possible, which, for something as personal and subjective as Astrology, can cast a wide net that one may find themselves tangled within. And that can be okay—Astrology is the art of archetypes aka symbolism and motifs that are inherently quite general. But when those generalities, like with the 8th and 12th houses, skew towards negativity, a condition that the human mind historically has a complicated relationship with, it can pollute what can actually be productive. Negativity bias is the theory that humans tend to react more strongly to and dwell on negative stimuli even when neutral or positive things are present in equal or greater amount. So, when the first 4 pages of a Google search result for “8th house Venus” or a Twitter thread about the doom of a 12th house Sun lean primarily negative, it can be hard to undo that association. It can be hard to be realistic about the 8th and 12th houses when much of the PR around them is histrionic, sometimes performatively so.
(For some context, check out my article on the differences between the 8th and 12th houses.)
Houses are simply areas of life. Astrology is sophisticated in design, with each of the 12 houses corresponding in totality with what one experiences on this ride called life—relationships, work, pleasure, family, etc. Through aspect, the houses can inform one another as well, i.e., the trine from the 2nd house to the 6th house can connote money made through a job. Like with any other house, the 8th and the 12th houses come in to inform important parts of the human experience. There simply is no richly lived life without entering the domains of the 8th and 12th houses. They offer necessary pauses on our journey, necessary valleys upon which peaks can stand high, necessary breaks where the light comes in, necessary reflection that guides us forward. The 8th and 12th houses are domains of human intimacy—whether with the self, another, a creation, an emotion, or the timeless and shapeless wisdom of life that I call the Universe. Intimacy here means closeness, a familiarity. And while intimacy can stoke visions of cozying up with a loved one by the fireplace, in reality, intimacy is merely our proximity to things. The 8th and 12th houses offer an intimacy that acquaints us with our faults, our longings, our complexities. To be intimate with anyone, including ourselves, there is a necessary walk through and acceptance of all our ugly and tortured bits. That’s why when, for example, you share with a friend that you feel inadequate at your job, and they pull you in for a hug, the catharsis and soul affirmation is exponentially bigger in that moment than it would have been if you kept your feelings to yourself. There is a tenderness and an openness in these 8th house or 12th house encounters. They poke at our soul and remind us that we are alive, delicate, and divine. And the ability to remain pliable in a world that seeks to harden you is the very essence of human resilience.
The maligning of the 8th and 12th houses, or really, the misunderstanding of them, represents a common human folly—that pleasure and joy and contentedness and visibility are superior to depression and complexity and loss and isolation. But we all know the pedestrian maxim by now: sad times make the good times more…good. The joy you find in the 5th house, or the wisdom you accrue in the 9th house would remain hollow if not for the soul that informs it.
It is easier to deal with these houses when there are temporary transits activating them. But what if you’re like me, or I assume, you, and you have a natal vortex of energy in the 8th house or the 12th house or both? Are you doomed to a life of deep soul-searching and profound but exhausting encounters? First, thanks to savvy timing techniques, your natal 8th house and 12th house planets are not active for a lifetime. Like all things in life, there is a waning, waxing and the purgatory of plateaus. Sometimes planets are just there operating in the background while some other active planetary event kicks off. That’s why being realistic is an asset here—life simply is not 100% tragedy 100% of the time forever and ever amen. And even amid a negative experience, a simple cup of tea or call to your mom can insert some levity, for example. Doom is simply not a nuanced take. Life is mostly gray areas. So, peeling back the negative narratives and examining your life from a sobered and practical stance lessens the sting of 8th and 12th house fortunes. I used to try and fit MY life into the narrow and harrowing write-ups for the 8th and 12th houses instead of contemplating how they fit me, how they wear on MY skin and experience. Second, no one’s 8th or 12th houses are identical in manifestation. Archetypes are helpful at getting us in the ballpark, but the way the game is played is purely individual. Give yourself space to see how 8th house and 12th house things land for you. Hot take but the things that pop off in the 8th or 12th house can be benign sometimes, believe it or not. A lot of my 12th house Moon experience is just tweaking how I get the proper amount of rest. And a lot of my 8th house experience is just learning how to share. It’s still work, but not as daunting!
And third, a more spiritual stance: accept and learn and lean into the natal 8th and 12th house energies you possess instead of leaning away from them or hoping for a better outcome. Actively participate in your 8th and 12th house, get messy, play around in there. Do not neglect, as what you resist persists. At the end of the day, the planets in your 8th and 12th houses are parts of YOU, not some stranger. And like a machine, when one bolt or fastener is left to rust, the entire mechanism is threatened. Your fully embodied life is jeopardized when you avoid or detest or bemoan your 8th and 12th house planets. I believe every chart has a divine curriculum chosen by your soul. Avoiding the lessons or messages of the natal 8th and 12th house planets you have is a sure-fire way to flunk out and forever repeat the same courses. Life is gracious in that it graduates and changes as we graduate and change. You can do it, you can get complex, you can get deep and vulnerable, you can cry out to the Universe and hear nothing but your own echo—and still rise. You have incarnated here to do 8th house and 12th house things—and what a waste it would be if you let a blog bully you into fearing your own purpose, for which you came fully equipped.
Your 8th house and 12th house planets make you sensitive, soulful, a vessel through which life in all its unanswered questions, hardships and intricacies can pass through, examined. And the ability to look at a thing, however grotesque and difficult, to rise to the occasion of challenge, to pull life close again and again despite how many times it has hurt you or confused you is not something to fear. It is the muscle from which magic and meaning is made.
I want to end with an ancient parable that can help you think more critically whenever something in Astrology is framed as either good or bad:
There once was a man who lived on a farm with his son and his horse.
One day, the barn door was left open and the horse ran away. When the nearby villagers heard about it, they ran to the farm to tell the farmer how sorry they felt for him.
“How will you work your farm without your horse?” they asked.
The farmer simply shrugged and said “good, bad, who’s to say?”
A few days later, the farmer’s horse , and following it were two more horses. The villagers were so excited for the farmer’s luck, they ran to his farm and told him so.
The farmer simply shrugged and said “good, bad, who’s to say?”
The new horses were not broken in, so the farmer’s son worked hard to break them in so they could be used on the farm. While doing so, one of the new horses threw him off and his leg was broken.
The villagers again ran to the farm and expressed their deep sadness about the son’s broken leg. “Now your son can’t help you on the farm,” they said with their heads hung low.
The farmer simply shrugged and said “good, bad, who’s to say?”
As the son was healing from his broken leg, a war broke out in the countryside. All the young men were sent to fight. Many died or were seriously injured. However, since the farmer’s son had a broken leg, he was not able to go. The villagers again came to the farm, to say to the farmer how very lucky he was that his son didn’t have to go fight in the war.
Once again, the farmer shrugged his shoulders and stated, “good, bad, who’s to say?”
(This parable teaches us to simply be a witness to life’s events. The idea being that peace is found by observing the events of life and removing all judgement; by sitting back and witnessing without trying to attach labels, and avoiding life’s dramas.)
Thanks for reading.